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[–]eateggs6025 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oasis & POF are the toilets in which humanity's turds float. OKCupid is probably the best. Much lower bogan/crazy to normal ratio.

[–]sepherraziel 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My wife met plenty of guys on RSVP.. sorry I mean ex-wife.

[–]Comma20 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Everyone I know who's had success, has invested a serious amount of time. It's not a fill in some boxes and casually message some girls kind of thing.

[–]dialemformurder 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have used eHarmony and RSVP. I met my husband through RSVP, and inspired by my success, a colleague tried RSVP and she is now engaged to a man she met through the site.

On eHarmony, I felt that I was matched with people who I didn't have much in common with, but I spoke to almost everyone even if I wasn't particularly interested because I'd already paid for the membership and there are a limited number of matches per day. I think I ended up wasting a lot of time talking to people where I felt little connection. People on eHarmony were generally serious about finding someone for a long-term relationship, but the stock questions that you could ask people/be asked got boring quickly (you could progress to proper messages).

I preferred RSVP because you can search for people more easily and you're not limited to a number of matches per day. On the downside, I received dozens of "kisses" and messages from men who hadn't read anything about me and just thought my pictures looked OK. I made a point of replying to everyone who contacted me and it was really exhausting.

How to prepare: Make sure you have some nice pictures of yourself! It's amazing the number of people who use crappy mobile phone photos where their faces are grey-toned and pixellated. They don't have to be professional portraits (preferably not!); just pics of you looking friendly and approachable. Don't use pictures where exes have been cut out or drawn over. Just take some new pictures!

Write an interesting profile that shows your personality. Focus on what you like doing and what you're looking for, rather than what you don't like (otherwise you may come across as too negative / jaded / bitter).

Avoid at all costs the clichéd phrases "Getting back into the dating game", "Thought I'd give this a try" or "Tired of the pubs and clubs". Oh, and if you are a fan of Tarantino, then spell his name correctly! (Or don't -- I must admit that I did use Tarantino-misspellings as an indicator of how serious someone was about their profile.) Spell check!

If someone isn't interested, wish them all the best and move on. Don't spend time trying to change their mind, because that takes time away from contacting new people who may be interested.

To avoid getting stabbed, meet at a public place. Never get a lift from them anywhere -- always make your own way. I used to meet people for coffee (I don't drink coffee, so I'd order a soft drink or whatever, but it's easier to say "meet for coffee"!) and I met a few for drinks. Never meet for a meal on the first date because that's a big expense if you're going on a lot of dates, and it's also a longer time commitment than you may want to give. I always told my family where I was going and who with (sometimes this info was limited, but I still told them what I knew, e.g. profile name, website), and I didn't give anyone my phone number, email address or surname before meeting them.

I went on a lot of really great dates. I highly recommend online dating to anyone who wants to meet new people. Just be clear about why you're there and look for people who want the same thing as you -- e.g. don't propose a casual hook-up to someone looking for a long-term relationship and vice versa. Good luck!

[–]metaospelling activist from 6149 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It depends if you're a girl or a dude.

If you're a girl, pick a site or three, and wait. Easy as that. Meet in a public place, tell people where you're going and who with... you know the drill.

If you're a dude, and you're serious about dating, anecodatal evidence seems to suggest paying for eHarmony is the way to go, although OKC is also worth the effort. Oasis, being free, is worth setting up a profile, but 99% of the girls on there are some combination of smoking alcoholic bogan single mothers that just want a quick shag. I personally don't mind single mothers - kids are cool - but it all comes down to taste I guess.

I've had no success anywhere but OKC, but I've yet to invest actual money. Even from OKC I've gotten more friends out of it than serious dates o.O The trick is to not get disheartened. If you send a message and they get it when they're in a bad mood or feeling apathetic or lazy, you won't get a reply and you're basically done. I know this because sometimes girls have messaged me on OKC and I've not replied like a jerk because I had a shitty day at work. Nothing to do with them or their profile, I just wasn't in the mood to write a nice reply at the time, and by the time you remember it's like a month later. So it's often as much about luck as anything.

So, good luck!

[–]LonzyMerriwa 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I had to find out about Oasis the hard way :(

Full of creepy guys :p ooooh except I did get this guy who wanted to make contact... I had to decline though - he seemed like way too much man for me :p

[–]Really-a-DiplodocusBayswater 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I use OKCupid, and recently a date turned into a boyfriend, so that's pretty nice. I was planning to meet him at 3pm for coffee, and leave by 5pm but we ended up staying out until 11pm talking. We clicked really well.

All in all I've met five people from OKCupid, two of whom became boyfriends, one of whom turned out to be a conspiracy theorist (not my type), and two of whom became friends.

OKCupid has a "matching algorithm" that says how much you "match" with your partners. The guy I'm dating I'm a 99% match with and they're pretty damn accurate. We have so much in common.

Only advice is be careful the first few dates, make sure other people know where you're going etc. I also like to arrange a meeting early on because I've had so many cute girls stop messaging me before I get a chance to meet them, and being proactive about it gives you more of a chance to actually see if you have chemistry. (That's what I think is most important, when you meet, seeing how you actually interact and how they actually look in real life.)

[–]Gibodean 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So, diplodocuses are bisexual? TIL.

[–]metaospelling activist from 6149 1 point2 points  (0 children)

+1 definitely meet ASAP.

[–]semi_modular_mind 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Stay right away from and any of their associated sites like, a load of scam artists.

If I was to actually try and make some effort in getting a date I would probably go with (free), they seem, well, ok. /r/OkCupid.

As for not getting stabbed, meet in a public place and if it doesn't seem right then leave.

Disclaimer- I've never actually met anyone from a dating site, mostly because 1/10 effort. Must try harder.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

OkCupid is pretty good. I've gone on one date from it and that girl in particular was really clingy/creepy. But I'm sure that's just one bad experience, it still put me off online dating for the most part.

What I like to do is meet up at the underground train station in the city at 11am, go out for a coffee, if they are a total freak leave at 11:15-11:30, say you need to meet someone for lunch and you're super busy or something. If it goes well, you can have lunch and then hang out more in the afternoon!

[–]metaospelling activist from 6149 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I like to do is meet up at the underground train station in the city at 11am, go out for a coffee

Similar trick, different timeframe - you can head to a cafe before dinner for a drink. If they're a freak, same excuse. If they're cool, you can be like "oh, you wanna grab dinner?".

[–]VMaxF1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went on a first date with a girl I met via RSVP three years and one day ago. She's now my wife.

I didn't find it to be hugely expensive like some have said - if you stick to messaging people whose criteria you actually fit, write something relevant to what they've said in their profile and have something decent in yours, then your chances of replies and dates are pretty good.

Spend some time on your profile and on the messages you write (whatever service you use). Give people something to "latch onto" and turn into a discussion point in either or both of those places when they message you back. For the love of god, spell check! Attractive girls will get a lot of messages, but for some unfathomable reason most of them will be from people who don't fit their criteria, guys who are terrible at constructing sentences or miscellaneous scumbags. Avoid those problems and you're already ahead of the game.

[–]VOOK64Wilson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It all depends on what you're after, each site has its pros and cons and you should try on a few of them.

*Oasis - Mostly full of people just wanting sex. (free)

*RSVP - Bit more serious. (paid)

*PoF - Useless site with barely anyone here. (free)

*eHarmony - I found it quite shit. (paid)

That being said, I did find a girl on Oasis (who wasn't wanting a one night stand) and have been going out with her for two years. So YMMV.

I found going into dates with no expectations was the best and as always, avoid the crazies.

[–]herpderpherpderpNorth of the herp, South of the derp[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This thread now added to the "romance" topic in the sidebar.

[–]KiljoyAU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To more or less agree with consensus, OkCupid seems best IMHO.

RSVP will charge you ~$10 a "stamp" which allows you to message one person for a month. If they're not that active or don't like your profile/message, bam, $10 gone for no return. Which is a bit of a problem, because online dating is a bit of a numbers game. You're probably looking at like 1 in 4 replying on a payed site, 1 in 10 on a free site (YMMV). Personally I found once I was talking to a girl probably only about 1 in 4 turned out to be compatible enough to be worth a meeting at which point you may well find there's just no spark and get a friend or a disappointment.

That's the other big disclaimer about online dating, the men basically always outnumber the women. So the women get bombarded with messages, about 5+ new people messaging them a day from a few girls I've spoken to. This can make it very easy for your message to get lost in the crowd. So, be prepared to not get any kind of response from a lot of women because they just don't have the time, or to have a girl respond a couple of times then vanish because some creepy guy has scared her off the site (Or she's decided it won't work out with you).

I was personally just about to give up on OKCupid when I met my current girlfriend and, not to jinx it, but we're EXTREMELY happy and compatible. So it can pay dividends, but you need to be prepared to put in a lot of time. YMMV and I wish you luck on your journey, sir/madam.

(Occurred to me at the end I'm not sure if you're male or female. My experiences are as a single male seeking a female.)

EDIT: Definetly not because my girlfriend found this post...

[–]tw33kz0r6066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have done a lot of internet dating on and off over 10 years (currently off and has been for 3.5 years so I might be a little out of date on the sites) Most of my recent knowledge comes from oasis.

You can't go into internet dating half arsed, you have to be on top of your game, you should go on at least 5 days a week, best nights are sunday, ppl have usually struck out on the weekend and desperate. If you are talking to someone and you think it is going well don't be backwards in moving it forward to a date. You gotta remember everyone else is probably also really busy talking to a few other people also.

Be warey of ppl who talk but don't want to progress, there is lots of people on there who are in a relationship and maybe just having a look around or boosting their own ego by having others come onto them.

Be open and honest, at the end of date if you don't wish to see the person again tell them politely by text, most people will appreciate the honesty,

the free sites tend to be quantity not quality and lots of people are just boosting their ego, having a look around, what ever, but not really commited to the process of finding a partner.

[–]Untimely_Manner 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I know a friend who had their photos stolen to be used on Red Hot Pie, she contacted them telling them to delete the profile or she will go to the news, they sent her a deal back saying if she used the profile instead and convinced guys to join that they would pay her to con them. Ive used Oasis before and it seems full of very shallow people, probably because its free, its cheap enough for the opp sex to be extremely fussy since it doesnt cost them anything.

[–]KiljoyAU 0 points1 point  (3 children)

RHP got done awhile back for fake profiles etc., I vaguely remember it being in the news...

[–]Untimely_Manner 1 point2 points  (2 children)

She went to a current affair and it did get on the tv, that might have been what you saw.

[–]KiljoyAU 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Belated response:

This is the episode I'm talking about (I think) from back in 2009. Incident with your friend more recent than that?

[–]Untimely_Manner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2009 sounds about right, ACA probably just did it because this happened so they wanted to get in on the action. So did the story with my friend.

[–]TribalTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are careful and not completely stupid you can kinda figure out who are creeps and who is genuine... I met my boyfriend of 4 years on Oasis and never been happier! I also met about 2 other guys from the same website before him and they are now my friends ( didn't make the boyfriend cut).... I spoke to John for a good 4 months on msn and on video chat before meeting up with him in real life. I would do it again if I had to :) good luck!

[–]Sytadel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll throw my weight in for eHarmony.

My housemate (male) has met and dated a few girls on there. As normal a mix of people as you'd find in any bar/club, and each was pretty well suited to him. It's great for the young professional crowd who are in professions dominated by a given gender. He's an engineer, and all but one girl has been in social work or healthcare.

More men on there than women, but if you're looking for a serious relationship, it evens out pretty quickly. The process of getting to know someone is quite rigorous and I wouldn't reccomend it for anyone who's not a fan of putting themselves on paper.

Personally, that's what I can't stand about online dating. I love the discovery, the chase, all the exciting stuff. My hit-rate is lower than my housemate but I'm a much more interesting dinner guest.

Sidenote: you could also try /r/r4rPerth.

[–]lucadiepig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for all the info everyone, (just for reference I'm a dude) I had a brief look at eHarmony, looks good apart from the payment part, which I might consider, haven't tried OkCupid.

But it seems to be the most popular choice. I had a look at Oasis, appeared to have a lot of girls on there with kids, which is cool, but I probably wouldn't be the best choice since I don't have much dating experience.

[–]genYsuperstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot depends on how much effort you are willing to put into your profile, Unless you are attractive as fuck. Then you can wing it so long as you don't act the typical sleazebag.

I've had better results on OKC than OA, generally because there is a big difference in what is expected of a profile. If you are culturally aware, a little bit of a quirk and open-minded, you'll probably enjoy okcupid. If you are a meat and potatoes sort of person, go with oasisactive.

[–]cody_au 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RSVP: You'll end up spending a tonne of money on stamps for people who won't reply to you.

PlentyOfFish: Single Perth mums looking for a baby daddy. I hope you like girls that work in the mines and "luv toonin der carz".

OasisActive: Tonnes of Perth people with dozens more every day. All free, and the profiles, interface and online chat are all fantastic. Even contacted their support once or twice and they were great. Your other standard online dating disclaimers apply.

As a funny note about OA, my mum told me that she gets guys half her age sending her chat requests, and when she opens them they instantly start the sex talk. Pretty disgusting. But as fucked as that is, if that's your competition and you're a good guy then you'll go far. There are plenty of good (and bad) women on there.

[–]letsburn00 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've only ever picked up one girlfriend in perth from online dating. I use the website about 6 years back.

I now refer to her as "knife in the shower girl".

In a completely random other comment, a gentleman is not supposed to be bothered if a girl gets a photo of your licence plate and sends it to her friend before coming over for her first night. I wasn't bothered, but hey, some might be.